Dear World, This is My Story

Dear World,

To me, my sister Gloria was perfection. With high cheek bones, beautiful eyes, and great skin, she was the essence of beauty. She was smart, a great mom, a creative cook, she did makeup, she could cut hair, and could sew anything. Even though she was 22 years older that I, we were close. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 40s, I was sure she’d survive it. She’s Gloria. She’d been through a lot and she could do anything. But after going through all kinds of treatments—modern and not-so modern—her body started showing signs of failing. Regardless, I expected her to win her fight against cancer.

One afternoon, I was sitting in Gloria’s dark bedroom watching her fade in and out of sleep. At one point, she sat up and looked at me with her hollow eyes and sunken cheeks, barely lucid from all the prescription drugs, and asked: “Do you know where the gun is?” I said, “No. Why?” In her labored breath and drugged up brain, she said, “Shoot me now.”

In her labored breath and drugged up brain, she said, “Shoot me now.” I knew then she wasn’t goint to win this battle.

I knew then she wasn’t going to win this battle. She passed away a couple of weeks later. It was hard for me to accept that this was the end of my beautiful sister. I found it hard to imagine that the person I talked to, related to, had a loving relationship with, had simply ceased to exist. Gloria’s death brought to the fore all the questions I’ve had about life and my purpose in this world. That started my quest for the truth. I sought and fortunately found what I was looking for. Now I know who I am and what I’m here for. My understanding of my identity as an eternal being and a spark of the Supreme Being, allows me to see others as beautiful sparks of God, just like Gloria. I tend to overlook people’s shortcomings and magnify the positives, which sometimes work against me but I’m good with it. I’m far from perfect and I still have a lot to learn, but I am happy. And for that, I thank Gloria for the words that jolted me from a meaningless existence: “Shoot me now.”